As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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