chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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