can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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