My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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