Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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