covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
