I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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