I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
