it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
