so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
