Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
