We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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