She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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