he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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