She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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