Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
