dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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