I think I am morally bankrupt
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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