So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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