i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
