Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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