I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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