whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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