The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm like, not good at living.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
