My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
