And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize