We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I lost the right to judge tonight
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
