just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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