is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
