If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Randomize