ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
