Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no you cant smoke seaweed
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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