I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
