sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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