have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
