maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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