Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
