I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
