Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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