even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
