So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
pop tarts are not kleenex
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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