stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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