I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
