It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
