some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I CAN MOONWALK!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i think i have herpe
just one?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
