She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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