I got chris browned last night
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize