i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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