"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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