dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
