Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
