Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sry I called you an 8
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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