just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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