Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
