Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
