Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
