Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
