mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So squirting runs in the family.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
