nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
